The Funny Side of Horse Racing
Horse racing is the stage for some great stories, and some funny ones too.
Whether winning or losing at the race track, we should never forget to laugh. Below is a selection of seven short horse racing jokes from around the Web.
Talking horse
A horse walked up to the racetrack betting window and put down 50 pounds. "I want to bet on myself to win the fifth race," said the horse. "I don't believe it!" said the astonished clerk. "You don't believe what?", said the horse, "That I can talk?" "No", replied the clerk, "You don't stand a chance of winning the fifth race.
Bad odds
Q: What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race?
A: 12:31, because it is 29 to 1.
25/1 loser
George said to Fred, "I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one." "Wow! You must be loaded", said Fred. "Not really" said George, "the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty."
Can't catch up
A seven-year-old horse was entered in a big money race which it proceeded to win by seven lengths. The track manager called the owner and said, "Your horse is seven years old and won by seven lengths. Why haven't you raced him before?" "We would have," responded the owner, "but we didn't catch up with him until last Tuesday."
Walking it in
The bookmaker told me this horse would walk in. It did, but unfortunately all the others galloped.
Praying for a win
The chronic horse player paused before taking his place at the betting windows, and offered up a fervent prayer to his Maker. "Blessed Lord," he muttered with intense sincerity, "I know you don't approve of my gambling, but this once, Lord, just this once, please let me break even. I need the money so badly."
Competitive horse
I bet on a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
