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Gambling from the Grave
Gambling doesn't stop, even when you go to heaven!
When most of us imagine heaven, we visualize fluffy white clouds frequented by attractive, scantily clad winged minstrels and divine public servants, fluttering around, whipping up excellent espresso.
Can you believe that in the old days, they imagined that heaven was a giant casino! Yes, absurd though it sounds, death wasn't a place where chance stopped making things interesting. How do we know all this? Well, we found the casinos.
- An Egyptian tomb-painting (3500 BCE) depicts a nobleman in his afterlife playing a dice board game of hounds and jackals
- A Sumerian board game was found in a royal cemetery dated to 2600 BCE
- Antelope ankle bones, which were used as dice, are often found in prehistoric tombs and burial caves around the world, so that the dead could re-create life.
Archeologists interpret these findings, and many more, to mean that dice are intrinsically connected to the cycle of death and rebirth. More importantly, they conclude that the deceased intended to keep gambling, because the ancients buried their dead with items that the dead were going to take with them and use in the after-life.
People in the old days loved gambling so much that they refused to stop punting, even though they had moved to the next dimension. They played a game before breakfast, had one or two around lunch, and finished off the day with a quickie before dinner. And when they had finished living, they got to gamble for the rest of eternity.
The only question is: does heaven have high-speed internet to cater for online casino gambling?