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Top 10 Signs You're At a Bad Casino
As shown on Letterman's Late Show in 1999.
The Top 10 List has been a regular segment on The Late Show with David Letterman since 1985 when it made its debut with "The Top Ten Things That Almost Rhyme with Peas" while Letterman was still on NBC.
23 years later, and now on CBS, the show and the segment are still going strong.
On April 29, 2005, the segment even poked fun at the gambling industry, listing the "Top Ten Signs You're at a Bad Casino":
10: Your full house loses to the dealer's six-of-a-kind.
9: They're playing "Will It Float?" [ed: regular Letterman segment] in the lobby with a bag of fertilizer.
8: There's a high-stakes table, a low-stakes table, and a kids table.
7: Has strict no-gambling policy.
6: Advertises that its slots are "almost as loose as your wife."
5: Free buffet is all-you-can-eat lemon wedges.
4: One spin of roulette wheel lasts 7 to 10 days.
3: Their big headliner: The withered corpse of [the late jazz singer] Mel Torme.
2: No Rat Pack, but there are packs of rats.
1: It has the word "Trump" in the name.